Thursday, January 14, 2010

Half a year of discoveries and reflections


Asher turned 6 months old this week, and over the last 6 months I have noticed how becoming a parent changes... well everything. For me it has changed how I look at the world, the people in it and how I interact with both!


Social Isolation
Before you have children and especially before you have a baby who is breastfed, get-to-gethers and parties are great; you socialize, eat, help set up and clean up etc. etc. etc. Once you have a child it's a whole new ball game. It starts before you even leave the house, making sure you have absolutely every possible item your child might need packed in a bag that never seems big enough. Then once you get to your destination, it's a balance between trying to be sociable and keeping your child content (AKA quiet). This leads to very unfulfilled conversations. For me it always seems like 30 minutes later while I am feeding Asher in a quiet room someplace, I think about how I meant to say this or that.
I do love breastfeeding Asher, in fact I think I would miss it if he stopped tomorrow, however because he seems to hate being covered by any kind of blanket, I tend to just go into a bedroom away from everyone to feed him, as it's much less stressful for all concerned. But in doing this I miss out on whatever else is going on beyond the walls of the room we are in. Granted sometimes it's a lovely break and a nice time to bond with him away from the crowd :O)


Joy
I don't think I have ever experienced so much joy in my entire life as I do/am right now. Watching Gord play, sing and talk to Asher makes my heart sing. Experiencing all of Asher's firsts with him and getting to see him smile and laugh each day has been truly amazing.
I think in life, some things are just meant to be. My dad was diagnosed with cancer in 2009 which has been difficult on everyone in our family. But I believe that Asher came into our lives to give us all something to smile about. And to give my dad something to keep going for (he wants to be at Asher's wedding).

Parenting
Knowing that we have just scratched the surface of this thing we call parenting I am excited to continue this challenge with Gord.

What we have learned so far is that nothing is what it seems. Before you are a parent you make all these assumptions as to how you will parent your child, and when you become a parent, all those assumptions go out the window. It has nothing to do with ideals and everything to do with temperament. Every child is different and not every method works for every child.

So far our two rules are:
  • Pick your battles; and
  • Find what works for your child and do that, then stop listening or reading everyone elses ideas/opinions.

All in all it's been a great 6 months since Asher entered our lives. We have learned so much and seemingly discovered a whole new world, and entered a new club (mommy and daddy club) in the process. Were lovin every minute and wouldn't trade it for the world!

1 comment:

  1. You hit it bang on there! Asher was just what our family needed and he came at just the right time. He never fails to put a smile on everyones face. At home, in the cancer clinic, even in Church at his baptism when no one was suppose to talk he was making me laugh. He's got that contagious baby smile, and those giant blue eyes make it even harder not to smile or laugh at him! I crave my Asher visits worse than I crave chocolate!!! I find it amazing how someone elses baby can dramatically change your life, he has given me a new prespective and a reminder how important family is among many other wonderful things... He is such a luckly little boy to have the best parents in the world!!! <3

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